ACCURATE SLAP TARIFF

Eventually someone marketed slapping wheels

plastic trinkets with bean-filled gloves attached

in the season’s colours.  You could hear their

clatter as people walked, guilt free, to cheat

on partners or burgle corner shops. The head of BP

held a chrome-banded mahogany version to his face

as he spoke of another oil spill, slap-slap-slapping

his way through the dreary details. And all of us

slept well that night, cheeks pulsing with comforting heat.