My shopping cart is full of:

 

the things you expect me to pay for

overtaxed tampons

carcinogenic digestives

asda branded tea

a bottle of red wine

my ancestors shackles

skin lightening cream

your misplaced pride

bananas that are not made for this climate

hopes and dreams

my little brothers weak dab

millennial angst 

 

Spooning and cold pillows

her heart was as cold as the other side of the pillow

she remembers days when they would spoon as a natural reaction to not being able to stand the thought of being apart

she lay lifeless as her hair was routinely stroked

crying silent tears into the pillow feeling numb

- both of there hearts had become shrapnel-

being on suicide watch for your girlfriend leaves little space for romantic spontaneous love

I love you

I don’t want to be alive anymore

You have so much to offer the world

I have nothing to live for

You are more amazing then you realize

I am worthless

Your worth isn’t measurable by material things

I cant do this anymore

Please don’t give up

 

They played table tennis with words of encouragement

She walk across the tightrope of being careful not to step into statements that were emotionally manipulative.

 

She wanted to scream at her,

YOU ARE KILLING ME

I am drowning in your sadness and I don’t know how I can save us both.

But she didn’t.

She stroked her hair, she held her body as it shaked profusely and she kept reminding her not to give up

 

Broken people levitate to eachother

Their tears mix into a cocktail of systematic oppression and unshakeable sadness

Mother of dragons

It isn’t in my nature to shrink for men.

I was born from women who don’t spend time in the shadows,

Frontline soliders.

Warriors with finger waves and hooped earrings.

We don’t shrink for men.

Fueled by feminism before we can even spell it out.

The mulitafceted creatures who climbed trees and played with barbies,

Who made up dance routines and played in the dirt.

We are not scared of getting our hands dirty.

We thrive

We survive

We fight on.

In paris with you (Amsterdam Refix)

Don't talk to me of abuse. I've had a fistful

And I get wishful when I've had a zoot or two.

Im another of your sidechicks

Im neglected im a sidekick

But I'm in Amsterdam with you.

 

Yes I don’t know how I missed all the signs

And embarrassed at all ive let you put me through

I admit that this is crazy

And my visions getting hazy

I'm in amsterdam with you.

 

Do you mind if we do not go to the Anne frank house

If we say sod off to sodding tulips,

If we skip the red light district

Do other things (I’m being cryptic )

 

Air Bnb

Doing this and that

To what and whom

Learning who you are,

Learning what I am.

 

Don't talk to me of abuse. Let's talk of Amsterdam,

The little bit of Amsterdam in our view.

Theres spiders crawling out the sink

Isnt as artistic as you think

And I'm in Amsterdam with you.

 

Don't talk to me of abuse. Let's talk of Amsterdam.

I'm in Amsterdam with the slightest thing I do.

I'm in Amsterdam when im happy, when I cry  

I'm in Amsterdam when I listen to your lies...

Am I embarrassing you?

I'm in Amsterdam with you.

Slap the curious out of them

Sit up straight

Behave ya self

Don’t act up

Don’t embarrass me

Come here

Sit down

Stay still

Stop that

Put it down

Put it back

Shut up

 

We don’t speak about the emotional abuse that broken people inflict on there children

Babies raising babies

They’ll respect you if you act proper

Be one of the good ones

being well behaved isn’t enough to stop you being killed.

Pounce.

She walks into a room with the strength of all her ancestors who have lived before her

Her energy commands a space

Radiating hope and life

You see she wasn’t like other girls

Not in a patriarchal self hating kind of way but she just wasn’t wired the same as the women around her

She felt vibrations on a deeper level

One of set of energy and her chakras were all out of line

She wasn’t a mistake