Whose permission could you possibly need to love yourself?
When the conversation about self-love is brought to the table, it can often be muddied with talk of narcissism, arrogance and ego; as if counting the pieces of our sanity before taking stock of the world is an unreasonable request. Everyone deserves love, more importantly, everyone deserves to love themselves. We get caught up doing our bit for everyone else around us, we forget to take time to show that same care and attention to our own health and wellbeing. What does self love even mean in the first place, and why is it so important?
It's time to realise that you matter. Self love is the realisation that your happiness is no secondary thought. You are half a step behind yourself when you don't get behind yourself and believe you are worthy of your own time and attention. The world is a very loud place at the best times, it's easy to feel small and secondary - yet it costs nothing to shed away the static of it all and learn who you are without the ruckus of the "real world"; without the choreography of conformity, kindness and the occasional cruelty. Pause often, listen carefully, and love yourself more.
Self-love is the seed all good love grows from.
As silly as that sounds I feel it holds weight in this world. Without a healthy appreciation for yourself or how you like to feel, you can't fully extend love back in to the world. Reaching for the love that lives outside of you can stretch you thin. Looking for reasons to identify with love through how the world treats you, can wear you down. If honesty is the key to any good relationship, then it goes without saying that honesty is the key to a good relationship with yourself. Listen to what lives when the world has died down around you.
As we work our way into the world, longing for connection and inclusivity, boundaries become more and more important. Without a healthy relationship with ourselves we forget where we draw these lines and gamble valuable acres of self for a chance at acceptance. When you love for the sake of ticking boxes you slowly devalue what love is, this in turn affects your love for you. I’ve heard it said before “we accept the love we think we deserve" and I stand beside this thought entirely. When we surrender the keys to our power and worth to the world we begin to take what is given without give thought to what we need, not everyone prescribes to your idea of respect and love.
Take the time to nurture that love.
I’m not promising it will be the cure to all ills, I’m saying it will be the key to stepping into a life that feels like a familiar shade of hope. This kind of love can only grow until it over flows and needs to be shared. There is nothing selfish about taking the time to live in peace. I've striving for self-love again, my journey to self-love looks like, stealing a moment out of every day to meditate, because a sense of peace feeds me clarity, it looks like moving every day because for me exercise is a celebration of my health and wellness, it looks like learning that comfort isn't a good enough reason to keep running back into the company of those who break more than they build, because I am the company I keep. Every day is an opportunity to grow into love, I hope it feels worthwhile to you to.
What does self-love like for you?